Whew! The thought of writing itself has seemed exhausting these past few days, but I want to leave a reflection here of what the recent past has been like.
Emmy girl's got some stamina. This weekend she... climbed atop the dining room table to empty the salt shaker, climbed up her high chair, wedging herself into a sitting position upside-down on the footrest, crawled up my leg onto my hip like it was a fireman pole, climbed atop Petey and held his extra neck fur while gripping his back legs with her knees, and shimmied underneath a restaurant table and out of my grasp, losing a shoe in the process.
Hot toddler mess.
But it's fun, so so much fun, and I'm so glad and grateful that she is growing and healthy and strong and vivacious.
That said, I want to reflect on a sentiment that I've heard before about handling deployment with kids at home: "You have to be mom and dad... you're a single parent for a few months...". And this is what I've heard from other military spouses.
Frankly, I completely disagree, and it could just be that, in my experience, I don't HAVE to be. This may be different for other families with limited communication, and I don't doubt that many spouses have felt like they had to be both.
We have been very blessed to be able to stay in consistent communication with Anthony, and we even get to Face Time with him! Emmy is still connected to her daddy. From the bottom of my heart, I am so glad for that. I can let go of the pressure of having to be Emmy's be-all, end-all. She has baby friends and family and grandparents and an overlarge puppy to keep her occupied. I know that she misses Anthony because she talks about him and says his name, but I feel confident that all I have to be is a good mother. There's no replacement for a father, and God is more than gracious enough to keep that spot in her heart warm while Anthony's away. He is faithful in all things!
I don't have to be in Energizer Bunny mode emotionally. Physically, I am aching from a little bit of insomnia, running in too hot weather, and trying to lasso a bronco of a toddler, but my soul and spirit can rest in the thought that God is sufficient, for me and for her.